Thursday, May 20, 2004

Bigger than Jesus

It's not easy being bigger than Jesus right now. I'm actually getting death threats from a few of the non-believers. Don't worry, I forgive you.

If I ever mysteriously stop posting anymore, it's either because one of them got to me, or I'm just too busy on my national Starbucks and Wal-Mart tour.

Hopefully I'll get to make my first public television appearance before I would have to go into hiding or permanent touring of the country again.

227 comments:

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Adam Culyer said...

yeah... in the words of Andy himself "they are all oatmeal north of the eyebrows". This refers to all of you.

Thank you for reading this and recognising the quote.

If you didn't you shouldn't be here.

Thank you

Adam Culyer said...

In the words of the great man...

"They are all Oatmeal North of the eyebrows."

This refers to anyone who doesn't know where that came from... go way, you shouldn't be here.

Thank you and goodbye.

M Elsea Smith said...

Andy: This Monday, May 16th, will be the 21st anniversary of your so-called death. I've been looking for you and haven't found you. Then this evening I realized I was looking in the wrong places.

I think the issue here is that you have come back, but not from hiding as everyone thinks, but from an alternate plane of existence - a world of unreality, so to speak.

Your coming back from the unreal world combined with you just being who you are has made ripples in the fabric of our consciousness. Things have definitely stretched and warped away from the norm in the past year.

Therefore, I don't think any human being will ever lay eyes on you again. We'll just know you were once there by the disturbances you have left in your wake like we know a stone was flung into a lake by the pattern of ripples we see on the water.

That being said, I think I now see where you've been the past year.

You whispered in Pat Robertson's ear that World War II was a big joke and it was high time someone exposed it.

You taunted Neal Horsley with pornographic mule pictures right before he went on the Alan Combs show. We were shocked, amazed, and aroused by what happened next. As you intended us to be.

You were there at Gay.com chat room, egging Jim West to reveal his deepest fantasies to a person who turned out to be a newspaper reporter.

You were there, holding Linda Davis' hand, when she finally made the decision to tell The Nation about how her ex-husband, Bush appointee Dr. David Hager, forcibly sodomized her for twenty years.

You also suggested to Jennifer Wilbanks she should mysteriously disappear, knowing full well that it would spark the biggest white woman search and news clusterfuck in the history of America. Jesus H. Christ, Andy, you always did end up going too far from time to time. I really could have done without that one.

secretstash said...

Hi.

I like your blog and was wondering if you might want to exchange links with my blog. The name of my blog is "Sexy Funny."

http://sexy-funny.ice90.com/

Here is my linking info:

Sexy Funny

I'd love to add your link to my site. Please let me know if you are interested.

Later.

RJ
pmd@ionet.net

secretstash said...

Hi.

I like your blog and was wondering if you might want to exchange links with my blog. The name of my blog is "Sexy Funny."

http://sexy-funny.ice90.com/

Here is my linking info:

Sexy Funny

I'd love to add your link to my site. Please let me know if you are interested.

Later.

RJ
pmd@ionet.net

Penny Woods said...

And where are you now?

Emma [LittleFish Web Design] said...
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Unknown said...

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George said...

Inevitably this always catches up with you and usually at the worst possible time calculation . calculation

Unknown said...

Good post

Roberto Iza Valdés said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Roberto Iza Valdés said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Kaufman said...

Andy, it's great to have you back, man.

Turn your word verification on as the computer at work almost shat itself waiting for all these comments to appear.

Live it up.

Oliver Ho said...

hi andy

Kaufman said...

Where have you gone and why aren't you telling us where you've gone?

Also, where have you been?

It's over to you.

Anonymous said...

Hello Andy,

What a great blog you have there !

Very interesting, really !

Greetings from Belgium.

Reno

Charlie on the PA Turnpike said...

Andy Kaufman taught us to think differently about comedy.

Thank you Andy, wherever you are, thank you.

Nita said...

hi there..
you can not bigger than Jesus
He is bigger than anything. slees

smokeyreade said...

Andy,
is that you?

Now What? said...

Hey, if anyone still reads this, I'm glad it was done.
Everyone got all stirred up, and that made for an interesting night of comment reading for a bored insomniac teenager.
And I hope you go on that tour. I'll be in one of the flea markets of Springfield, wearing an orphan hat. You'll know it when you see it.



Andy loved to imitate elvis. Wouldn't it be cool if people started to imitate Andy? If you saw Andy every time you went to Memphis?


I don't hear many people complaining of how the Elvis impersonators are defiling his image, or spitting on his memory. I just hear people hoping or wishing that he really is alive. But everyone knows deep down that he really isn't.


Hope should never die, even if it technically shouldn't exist.

Pink said...

Know what, there are a lot of great people who are trying to go against Jesus yet ended up worshipping Him.

cliffy said...

blashemy!!!...if these where the middle ages you could have been burn at the stake by now..

Erika Desmond said...

Hello Andy:

I'm sorry I didn't have the time to search through all the other comments to ensure I'm not repeating someone else's request, but I'd really like to see a current picture of you! Also, are you aware of your relationship to the late W.B. Yeats? Strangely enough, I can tell you about it, but not here. See, my fraudulence has been a little more direct than yours. I've ensured I'm not going to be resurrecting ever again, either. Hope you enjoy the attention you're receiving; hope it does some good. We loved your rendition of "It's a Small World."

Erika Desmond
email: demidoffia@gmail.com

Bahishnessly said...

http://www.ififakedit.com/

Check it out... pretty interesting.
For the record, I always believed he faked it, and I believe this was him too. But maybe I'm just gullible, I don't really care if I am... at least I believe in something.

the late andy kaufman said...

check out www.thelateandykaufman.com since I get loads of crap

Sandy said...

Someone has delusional sense of grandeur to assume that he would ever be bigger than Jesus.

http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/hoaxes/kaufman.asp

the late andy kaufman said...

Jesus may have died for YOUR sins, but Andy Kaufman died for MINE.

www.thalateandykaufman.com

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