FAQ

I've been getting a lot of questions via email so I thought I'd create this FAQ for the curious.

What have you been doing these last twenty years?

Once the initial part of faking my death was over, it was very easy to just "disappear." Plenty of people do this and are reported by their families as missing, only to show up weeks or months later. The trick was staying away for so long. For the stunt to be successful, I had to go away for a very, very long time. I figured twenty years was a good, round number that was long enough and would be totally legendary. I've been keeping a low profile, traveling the world, working odd jobs and practicing transcendental meditation.

How can we be sure this is the real Andy Kaufman?

How do you ever know anything is really what you think it is? It would take a DNA or fingerprint sample to prove that I am the real Andy Kaufman, which I’m more than willing to do if need be. I’m sure there would even be doubters if I did that. People will believe what they want to believe. I’ve spoken to my parents and a few old colleagues, like Bob Zmuda. You can ask them if I’m the real deal.

Why did you lie to all of us, you bastard?

It was the only way to seal my status in history as a legendary performance artist. I want to be remembered for so much more than having played Latka on Taxi. The worst part was lying to my family and closest friends.

How did you fake your death certificate?

That was surprisingly easy. I had a friend who worked at the hospital who helped grease the wheels at Cedars-Sinai to pronounce me dead and sneak me out of the hospital. Once the first wheel was set into motion, everything else just fell into place as people believed what they were told by someone else.

What are your plans now that you’re back?

I don’t plan on returning to the media limelight. I might make an impromptu appearance here or there. I’ve grown accustomed to my new life and will likely maintain it instead of plunging back into the twisted world of Hollywood. It sounds boring and cliché by now, but the world is my stage. My biggest fans always knew this. They were in on the charade all along.

How can I reach you?

Email: andykaufmanreturns@hotmail.com

Where are you living?

I do travel quite a bit, and have lived in these places and more: Aruba, NYC, Key West, the Philippines, various rural Texas towns, throughout the Caribbean, and many more. I’m not going to put my current location, as it will probably change every few months as I go exploring.