Monday, May 17, 2004

FAQ

I've been getting a lot of questions via email so I thought I'd create this FAQ for the curious.

What have you been doing these last twenty years?

Once the initial part of faking my death was over, it was very easy to just "disappear." Plenty of people do this and are reported by their families as missing, only to show up weeks or months later. The trick was staying away for so long. For the stunt to be successful, I had to go away for a very, very long time. I figured twenty years was a good, round number that was long enough and would be totally legendary. I've been keeping a low profile, traveling the world, working odd jobs and practicing transcendental meditation.

How can we be sure this is the real Andy Kaufman?

How do you ever know anything is really what you think it is? It would take a DNA or fingerprint sample to prove that I am the real Andy Kaufman, which I’m more than willing to do if need be. I’m sure there would even be doubters if I did that. People will believe what they want to believe. I’ve spoken to my parents and a few old colleagues, like Bob Zmuda. You can ask them if I’m the real deal.

Why did you lie to all of us, you bastard?

It was the only way to seal my status in history as a legendary performance artist. I want to be remembered for so much more than having played Latka on Taxi. The worst part was lying to my family and closest friends.

How did you fake your death certificate?

That was surprisingly easy. I had a friend who worked at the hospital who helped grease the wheels at Cedars-Sinai to pronounce me dead and sneak me out of the hospital. Once the first wheel was set into motion, everything else just fell into place as people believed what they were told by someone else.

What are your plans now that you’re back?

I don’t plan on returning to the media limelight. I might make an impromptu appearance here or there. I’ve grown accustomed to my new life and will likely maintain it instead of plunging back into the twisted world of Hollywood. It sounds boring and cliché by now, but the world is my stage. My biggest fans always knew this. They were in on the charade all along.

How can I reach you?

Email: andykaufmanreturns@hotmail.com

Where are you living?

I do travel quite a bit, and have lived in these places and more: Aruba, NYC, Key West, the Philippines, various rural Texas towns, throughout the Caribbean, and many more. I’m not going to put my current location, as it will probably change every few months as I go exploring.

214 comments:

1 – 200 of 214   Newer›   Newest»
Jen Savage said...

So if you can fake a death, why can't you fake a DNA test?

Rand Huck said...

One question I have is, how do you think Jim Carey did in portraying you in Man in the Moon?

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John F. said...

Rand's question is my own, what did you think of Jim Carrey's interpertation of you? And your former colleague Danny Devito playing Bob in the movie?

Meanwhile Jen's got a good question that I thought was a good point to make about faking your ID... I'm not trying to express doubt over this but I think this would be an incredible homage to Andy/you if it indeed was faked...

OK, I'm confusing myself with that thought...

yarnboy said...

It's surreal how you sound exactly like a twenty-something IT employee, and all of this reads exactly like every other internet hoax.. I was hoping that your wit was going to be exponential with your age, and if you really were alive, the human mind would implode just from having read your word. But for whatever reason, the inner lining of my skull seems to have remained intact.

Eric Force said...

Andy, nice to hear you are back. I have one question for you. In your travels did you run into Elvis at all? I always suspected he did exactly the same thing.

Isi said...

What kinda computer you use?

Perhaps you will share some of your wisdom from your travels with us in the future. I'd like to hear your thoughts.

Electra Cutie Kitty said...

I wish this were true. I'm just a bit skeptical.

Why would you have a hotmail account? Why would you decide to come back via a blog site? If you wanted to get the news out of your return to life, why not just go straight to a major network, or even Letterman, and announce the hoax there? Last question, why would your only evidence of being alive be photos of you as the character that you were known as sharing with Zamuda?

I'm sorry for this, like I said, I would love to know that you were alive and doing well, but there just simply isn't enough proof to satisfy most of the visitors to this blog. If it is true, I hope you are doing well.

Geordie said...

I think the biggest prank in the world is making everyone believe, not just speculate that Andy Kauffman has come back from the dead. Even if you just spread a rumour that "you" were dead at the hospital and had someone sneak you out, that doesn't account for the missing body. Now that, would have been a scandal!

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If you need a place to hide out, I know some great spots in Europe where you will never be spotted.

tekdenver said...

Nice try lol, but the press release on yahoo came from preweb.com's database where anyone can submit a press release to show up on multiple search engines.

shaunacat said...

I would love LOVE to know this is true. I suppose time will tell...and if we've waited 20 years, then I guess we can wait a little more.

Sara said...

Andy, (if that's who you are, and believe me, I'd love to believe you!)

If you did not really die, who is buried in your grave? Is anyone buried in your grave? Did you actually think about that when you were planning this whole thing out...I suppose if people needed real proof they can dig into it and run tests on the body to find out if it's really you...

I'd love to hear more details on how you managed to carry the whole thing out. Then maybe I can really start believing. I hardly got to sleep last night because my boyfriend and I were debating if it's really you. Thanks, Andy.

Pinja said...

Hi!
The movie of you, The Man On The Moon, was shown only a week ago on TV here in Finland. It was the second time I saw the movie and I cried my eyes off (again) in the funeral scene. And now you're alive! I can't believe this.

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BrenBullock said...

Andy, I don't care what others say, I believe this is true and so do a lot of people I know and not just because we're ignorant. The only way this will work will be if people retain faith. Faith in God makes him real so why not our beloved Andy?

steph said...

i tried emailing...your account is full.

liz yerby said...

hehe. man . i cant imagine seeing andy kaufman in rural texas. maybe in some like sparesly lived in area of the philipines....

you know what you should do if this is the real andy kaufman? get someone to go onto a TV show pretending they were you and then have them revealed during the show.

like the thing with tony clifton. i know your not supposed to do the same trick twice, but your not a magician so why not. anyways houdini only died when he did a trick twice, and so what is there to go wrong?

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F-troop said...

I never believed you were dead for a second. The best prankster in the world dead, no way. Ever since the age of 10 when I saw Lourl and Hardy for the first time, I new I wanted to entertain. I was always told I had an oddball sence of humor and that I should just get a day job. And so I did untill Man On The Moon came out. I wondered who is this guy Andy Kauffman. Seeing you gave me the courage to do what Ive always wanted. Although Im not gettin paid yet Ill never give up what I love to do. Thanks for giving me the courage to entertain.

WILLEY said...

HEY! THE END OF MAN ON THE MOON MAKES SENSE NOW!

Sickmind Fraud said...

Now that we will probably never hear from this Andy again, you might as well do something useful, and check out Psych Watch, or for that matter, visit a site of someone who does deserve some help and attention

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I think it's quite strange. I would like to see some independent articles or magazines on the topic. mappoint

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Bayarealawyers said...

Debt Settlement
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blogsurfer said...

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Robert said...

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