Thursday, May 20, 2004

Announcing Andy Kaufman's National Starbucks and Wal-Mart Tour

My friends keep telling me, "Andy - why don't you go on Letterman, man? Or Barbara Walters? Let everyone know you're back."

What I did broke the trust of a lot of people in this country, not to mention many close friends and family members. I will never again be able to gain back that trust. Not even after public appearances or even DNA testing. Some will always have their doubts. I don't care about those people anymore.

I care about my fans, the ones who understood my rare form of comedy meets performance art spectacle. That's why I'm going to give back to you guys only, and tour the country appearing unexpectedly at local Starbucks and Wal-Marts.

I've been working on a lot of new characters these last twenty years, which I may be disguised as:
- aging comedy legend who still thinks everyone recognizes him
- hippie turned yuppie guy in suit, now with bad coke habit
- aging fat and bald guy who thinks he is god's gift to women
- black turtleneck wearing pseudo-intellectual anti-war nerd-chic guy
- and more.

The tour begins TODAY! Be sure to tell your friends and alert the local media when you spot me!

32 comments:

Rob Pongi said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Rob Pongi said...

The return of the one and only Mr. Andy Kaufman is the best news that I have heard in, well, 20 years!

See all the latest Video Clips on:

RobPongi.com

dave said...

definitive proof that walmart exists.

Sickmind Fraud said...

Attention Kmart Shoppers, now in Isle 7 .....sadly we'll never hear this, because didn't Kmart go out of business?

But this does have a chance to become a part of american folk history, a la elvis. andy kaufman travelling the country, making odd appearances at local coffeshops, small time bars, strip malls, all the while driving around the country in a winnebago.

The psychs would say he's crazy, but then, I think they are crazyI wonder what comedy opportunities are available this political season?

Frog said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
elena said...

No. Way.

Abby said...

it doesn't matter whether you're andy or not. it's an andyesque stunt, and it's great. these people getting all pissed need to chill out and appreciate the gray area. you're worth thinking about... whether you're andy or not

Nivag Interaktive Welt said...

"Ratsan" needs to take a chill pill and stop posting rediculous shit on here. Nobody gives a rats ass on what you post.

Nivag Interaktive Welt said...

"Ratsan" needs to take a chill pill and stop posting rediculous shit on here. Nobody gives a rats ass on what you post.

Colin Barrett said...

Hey Andy, think you could come to Hawaii? I'd love to meet you finally. You've been an inspiration to me in my pursuit of comedy-hilarity-ness-ness-ish-ness....ly....ish....able................ness. Also, what did you think of Man in the Moon?

Take care
Colin

Ryan said...

Why Starbucks? I would think most people at a Starbucks wouldn't even remember who you are, or wouldn't care who you are, unless you bumped them and made them spill their drink.

Leigh Ellwood said...

Well, I figure if a guy's gonna come back from the dead, the first thing he'll want is a grande latte. After the Bunny Ranch stop, anyway.

HacZr said...

just more bullshit. could someone give me back the 30 sec. of my life I just wasted on reading this shit?

Morgan W. Brown said...

hey Andy,

I have just blogged a post on the Always Low Prices blog concerning your national tour:
http://www.alwayslowprices.net/archives/000035.html

Doctor_Spankenstein said...

George W. Bush is really Andy in disguise. When everyone finds out he was just kidding about that whole Iraqi war thing, we're all going to feel pretty stupid. Come on...a President that can't pronounce "nuclear"? Genius! Andy, you really had us going.

silly mama said...

Andy, if it is really you, welcome to the world of blogs. If it isn't you, then you are an insane genius for coming up with this webpage. Have you seen how many hits you've had today? I love it!! Keep posting. I hope to see you at a Starbucks or a Wal-Mart soon. This is truly one of the greatest things I've seen in quite some time. Thank you for bringing some humor to my day!!

silly mama said...

Andy, if it is really you, welcome to the world of blogs. If it isn't you, then you are an insane genius for coming up with this webpage. Have you seen how many hits you've had today? I love it!! Keep posting. I hope to see you at a Starbucks or a Wal-Mart soon. This is truly one of the greatest things I've seen in quite some time. Thank you for bringing some humor to my day!!

Irregular Unit 2023 said...

ALOHA Andy!

At our Starbucks on the Big Island, we've been celebrating your heroic comedic victorious reappearance! Stop by Prince Kuhio Starbucks for a Venti Triple Soy Latte on me... BZB!!!

Rad wicked choice excellent... I've got one question: Was Jim (Carey) in on it, and was you (Tony) actually in your own (post-mortem) film? Talk about the hoax of the century...

Check out your story when it appears at our News of the Strange!!!

Love & Chocolate! BZB at the BriarPatch

jeramiehieb said...

Hi, I'm not sure about the whole Kaufman situation. But is sounds like a marketing ploy by Starbucks and Walmart. Down with big corporations. Love me.

Blogger said...

ITS INTERESTING HOW THIS FAKER IS GETTING WHAT HE WANTS, THE ATTENTION AND THAT'S WHAT HE GOT.

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Oval said...

I knew it was fake! The real Andy would never be seen in or around a smurfing Wal-Mart.

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the late andy kaufman said...

If the "OTHER" Andy Kaufman ever returns he is gonna have some explaining to do. first off, why do people give me such a hard time when I am on stage.